Controlling your teenager with a flick of an ear
Bluebell and her girls (photo by Ann Romberg)
I was enjoying some time with Bluebell this afternoon and she was enjoying the attention. She loves to be fussed over and it was very relaxing for me too. Annie, who is almost three now and an equine teenager, spotted what was happening and, being Annie, had to come and investigate. Bluebell was standing close to the fence so Annie came around her in her usual bright, breezy manner, fulling expecting to muscle in on whatever was going on. Bluebell, however, was not in the mood for sharing. She laid back the ear that was nearest to Annie. It was a very small gesture but the message was clear. Annie stopped dead in her tracks and then wandered off, leaving Bluebell to enjoy some more attention.
Bluebell has always been a strict Mum with very clear boundaries and it has clearly paid off. Annie didn’t question the message, even for moment. I reckon that there are probably many Mums out there who would like to be able to control their teenagers with such ease!
What we take for granted
At the moment we have no water supply to the troughs in our fields – and there is none to the neighbouring fields either. The problem is the pump that takes the water from my well up to the header tank at the top of the hill that in turn gravity feeds the troughs.
It will probably be fixed in the next day or two but in the meantime I will be carrying buckets of water out to the horses to make sure they have enough to drink. The cattle next door have been given access to a stream so they too are provided for. Fortunately, the house has a separate pump from the same well so I have water in the house.
As I carry the buckets out to the horses, I can’t help thinking that this is how people (and especially women) used to spend a considerable amount of time – and still do in some parts of the world. Now that we have running water and other “labour saving” goods and services, are we putting the time we have “saved” to good use? I’m going to keep a rough count of how much time I spend water carrying and start to notice more consciously what I am doing with the rest of my time. After all, it’s just as precious a commodity as water.
Change takes time
Change, especially when it involves settling into a new culture, takes time and patience. I’ve always known this “in my head” but Patch, my border collie, has taught me what this means in practice.
Patch with our makeshift agility jump
Patch came to me in February from a rescue centre. He is nine years old and was previously owned by an elderly gentleman who had had to go into sheltered accommodation. Patch is a lively, affectionate dog but as I got to know him, it became clear that he had not seen much of life and had also been “top dog”. His main form of exercise seems to have been chasing a ball in the garden. After he arrived, he was very quick to bring anything he could find for me to throw. As he chases everything (including birds!) and so can’t be trusted off the lead with all the livestock we have around here, it is an ideal way of giving him a good run. He also loves agility and we go classes as often as possible and then practice at home.
He was terrified of tractors and all the other large agricultural vehicles that pass our house from time to time. The dustbin lorry, courier vans and the post man were all fine, however. More seriously, he was also terrified of rain, perhaps because it blows harder against the windows here than it might in a town house.
Sometimes he would be fine left by himself but, more often than not, I came home to find that he had been scratching frantically at the kitchen door or scraping the carpets. I was quite upset about this – not so much for the damage to the door or carpets but to Patch’s paws and also his spirit.
I know I am not as instinctive with dogs as I am with horses and so I consulted a canine behaviourist and she made some very helpful suggestions, including getting him used to being put in a crate. Shutting him up, even in a comfortably sized crate, seemed unkind and yet I could see the logic in that wild dogs tend to live in caves. Despite my feelings about it, the crate has been a great success and he is happy to be left there. Coming home now, I am greeted by a relaxed, happy dog rather than a stressed one, often with bleeding paws.
He has gradually come to terms with not being top dog too. Barking was obviously a great strategy for getting attention in his previous home but here I don’t care how much he barks as there is no-one to disturb, so the “attention” barking has almost ceased as it no longer gets a response.
Patch has also reminded me of the need to be consistent with him at all times so that he knows what is expected of him and what he can expect of me.
Today marked another milestone. The engineer came to service my central heating boiler. I left Patch in the office whilst I went to answer the door and make sure the engineer had all that he needed. Patch barked for a bit and then all was quiet and I came back to find him snoozing happily. He is clearly starting to feel safe here and accept the comings and goings of daily life.
Thinking back, for him coming here must have felt like being transported to a completely new world. At times, despite loving him to bits, I wondered if this was the right home for him or whether the move to the country was too much for him. It’s been a good reminder that change takes time and also (like the crate) it’s what works for Patch that has been important, rather than my feelings about it.
As I write this, Patch is lying by my feet but I know that as soon as I stir, so will he and, with ears pricked and tail wagging, he’ll be ready for the next adventure. Not only has he taught me a lot about adapting to change but also about loyalty. trust and joie de vivre!
Dominance vs Leadership
It’s a beautiful sunny morning here and so Chelsea and Susie are out without rugs. Their coats are just starting to change in readiness for winter and so they are quite itchy. As soon as I let them into the field, Chelsea went straight towards
Mutual grooming
Katie, clearly wanting to mutual groom. Soon they were scratching each other, getting rid of all the itches. Susie, however, also wanted to join in and strode up, ears back and clearly intent on disrupting Chelsea and Katie. It worked to a point. She did get a brief scratch from Katie but then Chelsea moved back round very quietly and she and Katie resumed once more.
Participants in our workshops often think, at first, that Susie is the leader but actually she is just the most dominant. When she tries to be the boss, it’s hard work for her as she has to be quite aggressive and drive the others out of her way. You can almost hear them say “Oh, it’s just Susie. She’a at it again.” Chelsea is the leader – and it’s effortless for her. Her presence and bearing command instant respect. She only needs to glare at another horse (Susie included) for them to move out of her way and when she chooses to lead, they always follow her.
It’s interesting to take this into the human domain. Who drives us and whom do we choose to follow?
Academic Leadership
Last night I attended an excellent dinner at which the speaker was Professor Ferdinand von-Prondzynski, recently appointed Principal of Robert Gordon University, here in Aberdeen. I was specially pleased to know that he was planning to continue, and indeed build, on the university’s links with business. It’s such a mutually enriching relationship - as we have found in our business.
Recently we have had a new graduate from the university work with us to develop our social media strategy, supervised by a lecturer from the Business School. We got the benefit of the freshest possible knowledge about social media and in return he got more work experience. We are looking forward to further collaboration with the School of Computing during this academic year. We will again be able to access a very high level of skill and in return offer some real work experience to a final year student which will help her launch her career. Working with these talented young people has put a spring in my step and hopefully I can offer them some of the wisdom that comes with age and experience – and, of course, they also benefit from some learning with the horses!
Professor Ferdinand – thanks for keeping up this excellent work!
Bluebell’s time out
Bluebell has had a peaceful summer, chilling out by herself although within sight of the rest of the herd. It’s richly deserved too. From what I have been able to find out, she spent many years being worked very hard in a riding school before being purchased by Paula, her previous owner, when the riding school closed down. She had an easier life with 
Paula who rode her in between having her own children. Once she was ready to ride again more seriously, Paula put Bluebell in foal and after Katie was born, put her back in foal and sold them to me. With the proceeds, Paula bought a lovely riding horse.
Since being with me, Bluebell has been kept busy taking care of Katie and then Annie, who was born here with us. Last summer, free of maternal duties, she kept Chelsea company for much of the time she was in recovering from her tendon injury. Bluebell volunteered for this. I found her standing outside Chelsea’s barn several days in a row and so started to give her some hay and thus the routine began. She wintered out as usual and then kept Chelsea company once more when she was first turned out in the spring. When we put all the mares together in the smaller summer pasture, we noticed that Bluebell was being pushed around by the others, the last thing she deserved, and so we decided to give her her own little paddock.
She has loved that. At first she was happy just to graze. I tried to spend a little while with her each day but she wasn’t really interested so I just let her be. Now she is delighted to have any amount of attention and we are gradually bringing her back into work. She will just be my steady hacking pony. In fact, she is the sweet little pony I always wanted as a little girl so I am sure we will find some suitably “little girl” things to do too!
It’s such a joy to see her looking so much brighter and enjoying attention once again. I don’t even mind that she can be quite mischievous these days. Hopefully she can now enjoy the rest of her life here, with days of hard work firmly behind her.
Always the leader
As I write this, we await the remnants of Hurricane Katia. Everything outside is secure and the garden furniture is safely stored in the garage. I decided to bring Chelsea and Susie in a bit earlier than usual as we have large yard gates that are like huge sails in windy weather and I wanted them shut tight just in case the gales become severe.
Chelsea - the leader
As soon as I called, Susie came trotting in, delighted at the prospect of “afternoon tea” and a pile of hay. I went to look for Chelsea whom I also thought would be eager to come in. She was standing by the fence with the two youngsters Katie and Annie. She looked at me and whinnied. I called her and she took a few steps forward and then turned to look at the youngsters. I understood her dilemma. She was clearly in two minds – part of her wanted to come in but the leader in her wanted to look after her herd. I called her again and reassured her that Katie and Annie would be fine as their Mum, Bluebell was in the next field. She looked round once more and came in.
It is so typical of her – she takes her lead mare role seriously at all times. Even when she was injured and had to stay in, she kept an eye on what was happening out amongst the herd. I’ve no doubt that she was in constant communication, without the need for mobile phone or email, and no doubt she will keep in touch tonight too, just to be sure everyone is fine.
What I admire most is that it is all so effortless for her. She never throws her weight around nor does she waste energy on the “small stuff.” In fact she doesn’t appear to use much energy at all. Her presence is enough for her to command the respect of her herd. She is the kind of leader I can only aspire to be.
Good Mums are worth their weight in gold
This week I have had most of our boundary fencing replaced. The snow and frost of last winter damaged the old posts beyond repair and had stretched some of the wire too. None of my neighbours can remember when last the fence had been replaced so it’s time had come!
Having this work done meant relocating some of the horses on a temporary basis. They were so good about it. Darcy and Storm had a wonderful day in the long grass and I did wonder if they would be willing to come back to their summer paddock with much less grass – but they were good as gold, albeit with feed buckets as an incentive. Bluebell, was ever, was her usual easy going self. Anywhere with anything at all to eat is enough for her.
Bluebell and her girls (photo by Ann Romberg)
The fencers (Jim, a local farmer, helped out at times by his son, Calum) were, of course, regarded as good entertainment. Much to my delight non-one was bothered by the very large tractor and the noise of the powered fence post driver. The last piece of work was a new gate post into the field where Katie and Annie, the two youngsters, live. I went out at one point to check that all was well as the tractor with its bucket full of old bushes that had been trimmed back from the new fence was coming through very near to the horses and I wanted to check how they were. I found Katie and Annie standing very politely watching Jim work, barely contained by a loose wire. Bluebell was watching from her paddock nearby, never so much as blinking as the tractor drove passed her.
She has been such a good Mum to her girls, setting them a good example and insisting on good manners (backed up by Chelsea and Susie!) even when they grew taller than her! She must have been quite proud of their good manners. I certainly was – and was grateful to her for her good work. Like all good Mums, she is worth her weight in gold.
Tuning In
Today I have been preparing to met with a client to review the learning outcomes from a session with the horses. I have been marking up all the photos so that they can refer back to them to deepen the learning and, as ever, I am intrigued to see all the many different ways people can work effectively with each other and the horses. The horses teach us so quickly that, just like people, what works with one may not work with another and so participants soon learn to expand their range of styles.
Susie enjoying a massage from a young client
It’s not just in learning situations either. I had a lovely day on Monday with sacro cranial osteopath Joanna Legard who is interested in the possibility of doing more of this work with horses. Joanna offered Chelsea some treatment which she accepted very happily and was soon totally relaxed and loving Joanna’s sensitive touch. We then moved to Susie and Joanna offered her some treatment too. Susie was not at all interested and just continued to eat. Her favourite form of treatment is a massage and so when we offered her that instead she was much more interested. I explained to Joanna that this was not about her ability to treat Susie – but simply Susie’s preference.
In all cases, the horses respond with honesty and and also with grace about what works and what doesn’t. There is no criticism and no judgement – just clear feedback. It’s such a great lesson for all of us. We all know what works best for us and can learn from the horses how to say so firmly yet gracefully – and we can also learn from them how to flex our style so that we have the best chance of interacting effectively with everyone we meet.
A special pat for Chelsea
Yesterday afternoon I watched my regular red horse speaks partner Sue get ready to hack out her new young horse for the first time. She lunged him before carefully mounting and set off with her son as mounted escort on her older horse Tom. She’s a very experienced horsewoman but I could see that she was nonetheless a little anxious about this adventure, even although the horse had gone well for her in the arena.
As I watched her get ready to leave, I remembered my first solo hack with Chelsea and was very glad no-one had told me it was not very sensible to ride out alone on a horse you didn’t know very well (especially in the days before mobile phones)! I had met Chelsea a couple of days before and ridden her out with others the previous day and she had been very good (it was actually the ONLY time she was ever good in company!!) and, as my sole riding ambition was to ride out on my own, it seemed logical to me that I should see whether she was willing to do this – so off we went. Admittedly Chelsea was nearly seven and not exactly a baby but she had only just arrived at the yard and was still a bit unsettled. We had a magical time – the first of many happy hours spent together just by ourselves over all kinds of terrain and in all weathers. As I tucked her up last night, I gave her a special pat and thanked her for looking after me on that very first solo hack. . Knowing what I know now, that was much more down to her than anything to do with my riding skills. There was a big helping of “ignorance is bliss” on my part too – in this case definitely a good thing! She always did take care of me too. Even at first when she was spooky and her brakes were not very reliable, I never felt unsafe. Even when I fell off her, as I did a couple of time, she just came back to me and waited for me to remount.
Although she’s retired from riding, I’m sure the partnership we built up out and about still helps us as we work together with our clients and I hope that her memories of our riding adventures are as sweet as mine. I also hope Sue has as much fun with her new horse and they too establish a lasting bond.
